Scattered stuff from a native New Yorker, disorganized former English Major, film buff, haiku enthusiast, semi-professional photographer and totally amateur fencer.

• Photoset Post

callmeshiny:

miss-mgann:

-DC Showcase, Superman/Shazam: The Return of Black Adam

Let me tell you about Billy Batson.

Let me tell you.

This brilliant little bastard works a part time job as a reporter, then gets chosen by Dumbledore, THAT’S RIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS I SAID DUMBLEDORE only he’s calling himself SHAZAM because of Wizard Witness Protection,

S The wisdom of Solomon;

H The strength of Hercules;

A The stamina of Atlas;

Z The power of Zeus;

A The courage of Achilles;

M The speed of Mercury.

JUST THINK ABOUT THAT. THINK ABOUT THAT.

THE WISDOM OF SOLOMON. Captain Marvel will kick your ass and still run circles around your punkass pseudo-nihilistic philosophy.

THE STRENGTH OF HERCULES. The strength—this is Hercules, this is the guy that held the fucking world for Atlas once before he peaced out because there weren’t enough bitches in space. Speaking of Atlas…

THE STAMINA OF ATLAS. This poor motherfucker is still holding the world, and if you’re lucky, he’ll be holding it till the end of fucking time. Hell, none of us can hold the groceries up long enough to get the key in the fucking door. Don’t lie.

THE POWER OF MOTHERFUCKING ZEUS. I’m not even going to say anything here and if you have a problem with that you better get ready to dodge the hail-storm of fucking lightning bolts.

THE COURAGE OF ACHILLES. This bastard went toe to toe with the fucking city of Troy and put it on its knees, knowing he was going to die. I get nervous making a left hand turn and this jack-ass shrugged off divine motherfucking prophecy because fuck the police, I do what I want.

THE SPEED OF MERCURY. This crafty motherfucker is faster than fucking Santa Claus. You know how I know that? Because not even Zeus was able to pin this bastard down and make him drag a shitload of toys around to every punkass kid who didn’t incite civil war or spit in a demi-god’s eye. This crafty bastard is fast enough to escape his divine chores and fuck around with Apollo all day.

Back to Billy, REMEMBERING HE HAS ALL OF THAT IN HIM: when he wants to fight crime, does he go somewhere and put on a different colored pair of underpants? NO. THIS BAD ASS CALLS DOWN MOTHERFUCKING LIGHTING OUT. He’s like

COME AT ME, BRO

AND THEN HE RIDES THAT BITCH TO INVINCIBILITY.

That is Billy fucking Batson. 

You’re welcome.

 Billy Batson is awesome. The End.

Notes

  1. kkkittykatzzz reblogged this from justiceleagueanimated and added:
    I love this movie!!!
  2. poisonousstrawberries reblogged this from justiceleagueanimated and added:
    BILLY YOU ARE MY PRECIOUS BABY.
  3. kawaii-kremet reblogged this from gasolinemonster
  4. daenishlove reblogged this from chasertiff
  5. chasertiff reblogged this from yesn0maybe and added:
    Clark why u no like this with conner??? and billy why are you the most adorable boy i have ever seen
  6. yesn0maybe reblogged this from kingburu
  7. riskypineapple reblogged this from bubbaboba
  8. dchaz reblogged this from cupcakemonarchy
  9. i-is-a-freak reblogged this from cupcakemonarchy
  10. cupcakemonarchy reblogged this from dratsing
  11. wewouldbeakleenexfactory reblogged this from the-junior-night
  12. ancestralbanshee reblogged this from dratsing
  13. ishachan reblogged this from miss-mgann
  14. kryptonian-american reblogged this from dratsing
  15. a-z-u-l-a reblogged this from doofusface
  16. doofusface reblogged this from aearwen and added:
    Supey, look away.. look away..
  17. bubbaboba reblogged this from dratsing
  18. ryuutsu reblogged this from justmeandmybatmuffins
  19. dominicooper reblogged this from bruceswayne
  20. secretnarcissist reblogged this from superherodicks
  21. justmeandmybatmuffins reblogged this from andysar
  22. aearwen reblogged this from superherodicks
  23. gasolinemonster reblogged this from dratsing
  24. enlione reblogged this from dratsing
  25. zazzinatella reblogged this from bakingwithbatman
  26. bandi138138 reblogged this from bruceswayne and added:
    Poor, poor Conner
  27. astromonkey reblogged this from superherodicks

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